The Marketing Nightmare: The Basics

"Hi, is anybody out there?"

It's a question we've all asked at one point or another, whether because we have something we want to be seen or because we thought we were tough enough to walk into the basement at night without turning the lights on and something DEFINITELY moved in the corner of the room.

For that second group, let me help you out right away: yes, there's someone there. No, they can't answer you in words. Yes, they will follow you back upstairs. No, you will never be rid of them. Yes, they're docile. No, they don't like when you sing in the shower. Oh wait...they're not docile anymore...

Well, best of luck to you.

Turning to the first category of people (those of us with something we want seen), I wish I could help you, but in order to do that, I have to learn to help myself. That's the journey I find myself on these days: learning to market when I'd rather hole up in my room and let the magic work for itself. Unfortunately, I'm discovering that the magic might just exist in the stories I write.

That means I have to learn a whole new skillset to sell the skillset I've been developing my whole life. Not ideal, but hey, that's all about mindset. In the end, an artist is a business unto themself. The last thing I want to think about is money and advertising. Unfortunately, without those things, it's not practical to continue on my quest for artistic relevance (and yes, that really is one of my biggest drivers: to be relevant, memorable, perhaps even immortal). Without more education, I've hesitated to try any of the more advanced or costly advertising mechanisms, but I've been exploring some of the more basic and universally available marketing tools.

I'd like to give you a rundown on what I've learned.

There's nothing more accessible these days than the Internet (I'm capitalizing Internet for the sake of this argument but I still haven't decided where I stand on that argument—let me know what you think in the comments). You don't have to buy a subscription or take a significant financial risk to open a social media account. That's why I started my public journey on Instagram.

Trust me, this was not as easy of a step as it should have been. The fact is, I'm one of those people who hates posting things about myself online. To be posted about by my adoring fans, sure. But to upload a video of a concert no one else cares about as though it's a matter of great universal importance? I'll pass.

Only, I can't anymore.

Suddenly, every little thing needs to be treated as a big thing. You never know what might resonate with "The World".

As yet, it doesn't seem as though my music tastes have gotten me very far. Perhaps it doesn't help that I mostly listen to things that nobody's ever heard of. Or maybe people simply hate that I use Apple Music instead of Spotify (another war for the comment section).

Most of my success at drawing in views on Instagram has come from music, however: those aforementioned concert videos. Before anyone starts thinking that I've cracked the code to immortality, I must (tragically) acknowledge the difference between attracting views and attracting undying supporters. Yes, my concert video stories usually lead to a massive jump in accounts reached (particularly when the artist reposts my story), but they rarely, if ever, lead to followers. Still, anything that could potentially gain me a click is worth a shot.

As for my posts, it doesn't seem that I've yet figured out how to write poetry that catches on with the masses. It seems that personal photos grab more attention. Despite this knowledge, I'm still hesitant to post...anything. That's an issue that I'm simply going to have to overcome.

Moving along to Twitter (no, I won't call it X; I've even refused to update the app so that I can still have the bird logo).

From what I can tell, this might be the best resource for author/artist marketing. There are hundreds (probably thousands, if not millions) of communities across the app, many of which are very supportive. Sure, you come across the odd person who believes that everything is a competition and who likes to cut down those around them. Those people generally don't fare too well. If you're willing to trade follows (with other creatives, not just with any old bot that comes along), you can build up your connections fairly quickly.

Much like random LinkedIn connections, however, simply having a high number of followers doesn't actually get you anywhere. You'll need to engage with your followers' posts (and, from what I can tell, comment, comment, comment. Likes alone simply aren't enough). Again, this is where I run into a wall. Oh God, human contact!

Alas, another thing to work on...

Next up is TikTok. I avoided this monster for a long time. Naturally, someone who doesn't like posting photos of his life is completely averse to posting videos of himself. That being said, I've developed a certain affinity for TikTok. It's a definite time-waster, but it attracts a lot of attention. The video-editing functionality is excellent and is accessible even to amateurs. It's also the one app whose algorithm actually seems to be designed to help the poster (at least, I feel that way). The key is targeting the right audience (and that's where trial-and-error comes in).

It's definitely the most time-consuming of the major social media apps, but it also has the most potential for drawing people in while they're disassociating from reality. Most of my focus as been on TikTok lately, so I'll check back in once I have some longer-term results.

Finally, my favourite social media app of all: Untappd.

As you might guess, this beer-based app really doesn't help sell books in the slightest, but it's the most fun place to try.

And hey, there's a mutual benefit here (Collective Arts is an excellent brewery and I highly recommend that you check them out).

In sum, social media is my enemy, but I have to do a better job of pretending it's my friend if I want to make it in the business of art. And if you're the type who loves to post all day long, places like Instagram, Twitter (fine, X 🙄), or TikTok are probably a great place to start off your marketing journey.

That's all for now, but tune in next time to find out how not to sell merchandise! 👀

And feel free to leave some comments below. I might not love to post, but I encourage you do do so (teach me how. Please).